-EV works out. This. Time. #oops

Bostonian asshat (could possibly be @its11pm) plays way too many hands.  He’s sb, I am bb.  5 limpers, he makes it 7, I call and so do the 5 limpers.  Pot is 49. I have KsQd

Flop is AdKd3s.  We all check the flop.

Turn is AdKd3s Td.

Boston checks. I check. Britain in MP jams all in for 93.  Action folds to Boston who I knew would never fold.  He’s all in for 70. I have them both covered.  I ponder calling 93 to win 212.

I don’t snap, but take some time.  I have a feeling Britain has a made hand, but the pot was only 49. Why does he jam 93 here?

This is typical of a 1/2 donk that made a low flush.  Strangely enough, I’ve seen so many idiots do this when they hit 2 pairs too, so I’m confused.  I’m not even worried about asshat Boston to my right, btw.

I considered at the table that I probably don’t even have 9 clean outs to drawing to my frush.  At most, he has 2 diamonds, leaving only 7 diamonds left and 39 cards that don’t help me.

39:7 or 5.5:1.  Pot is only giving me 2.3:1.  A call is –EV here.  I said WTF and shoved my chips in.  When in doubt, do what @OnAFoldDraw would do! (Respek!)

As I shove them in I say, “I have the Qd. I call.”

River was a AdKd3s Td 4d.  Great Britain turns over J9dd in disgust.  Boston mucks, says he had 2 pairs.

As Great Britain gets up, he sarcastically says to me, “Nice pot, bad call.”  I heard him, but I said, what did you say?  He repeated himself.  I said, “Ma’am, what do you care what I do with my stack. Just be happy you put it in with the best hand and got a donkey like me to call you.”

Great Britain is a cranky old snowbird and I can’t wait to get at him the next time we meet. After cash and a $55 MTT, I left the room +$270. First winning session in 5 weeks. I have to make mistakes to be profitable. Sick game.

Big Hands, Big Pots

I am the small blind in seat 6.  Blinds are 600/1,200/100a. Fong is in seat 10. Preflop pot = 2,800

UTG limps. Fong limps. Heavy D limps. Mike in cutoff limps. I pick up AK and jam the pot for my remaining 9,400. (My total bet is 9,400 + 600 small blind = 10,000). Pot is 17,000.

UTG folds.  Fong looks behind him, sees 2 more potential callers between he and I and just calls for 8,800. Pot is now 25,800.  Heavy D decides to call 8,800. Pot is now 34,600. Cutoff folds.

Fong and Heavy D still have chips and decide to check it down. Board runs 634 7 J.  I never see Heavy’s hand. Fong turns over 55.

Wednesday Night Lights 1/11/12

1/2NL $200 buy in. Lenny seat 2. Esther, Esq. in 3. Boston luckbox in seat 6 plays every hand and is hitting every flop, mostly with 2 pairs. Tourist Dave from MI in seat 8. I am in seat 7.

After splashing around and getting donked by Boston, I am down to 120. Esther limps EP w/ AK.  Boston BS raises to 10 and I call from cutoff with A7o. (Like I said, I’m splashing around—loose call.)

Esther flats and we see a flop: AK7 rainbow.  Esther checks. Boston bets 15. I raise to 50. Esther shrugs her shoulders and says, “all-in”.  Boston folds and I snap.

I didn’t put her on that hand.  I had her covered by $35. Rather than rebuy, I wait for shoving opportunities—the kind when I am LP and there are 5 limpers and I jam with paint.  Over 15 minutes, I built my stack back up to about 150.

Tourist Dave is playing the drunk, but he’s not. He’s chatty and playing loose. I’ve seen at least 3 hands that went to showdown where he had no business being in the pot and he was pushing a lot of draws.

I try to pick off this habitual bluffer with my TT on a board that looks like he missed a flush draw. I call his river shove and wait for him to show. He turns over his cards purposefully so only the top card is showing and says, “I have a king.” I say, “You’re a slow rolling asshole if there’s a king underneath that.” He looked embarrassed and showed the other king. I mumbled, “classy” as I left the table pissed. Sometimes I wish I could just smash an asshole in the face w/o repercussions.

I switched tables and rebought for $200. Played 10 hands before I had to play the $65 MTT. Loss for the night – $450.

I was ok in the MTT, building my stack early to about 30K, but the blinds ran quickly.  Unlike Tuesday MTT’s, the starting stack went from 6000 to 10000, but the antes kicked in in level 3.  I was okay until my AsAh got snapped off by tall Mike (tourney player only) who shoved on the flop w a flush draw and got there.  I opened LP to 1200 (3xBB). He called from the BB with QJcc.  He check shoved me with a 4h6cTc board and got there on the turn. Fucker.

That left me with 2500 at the 300/600 level (AA was last hand at the 200/400 level) so I open shoved 3 times in a row with immunity, then lasted for 10 more minutes when, with 9bbs left, I shoved into a 2 limped pot. QJss vs. 77

Flop was TT9hss. I was all over that flop and couldn’t get there. I think my 3-month tear had ended. Back to the gross reality of poker.

Jedi Mind Games

1/2NL $200 on. Table 11-8. Seat 2 is Southern girl. Not that she’s from the South. Just because later on she doubles her buy-in. Cashes out. Then go sits at another 1/2 table.  I wasn’t feeling like being an asshole today, so I didn’t tell the brush.

Dude in seat 3 is the, “I bought into a 10K WPT event 5 years ago” guy. Guy, you suck. What a waste of lap dance money.  Seat 4 is Russian fool. Seat 7 is cool 20yo something who is really impressed by his own back to front chip trick.

First hand, Russian fool with 100 behind raises UTG to 7.  I reraise to 20 from LP with 76o.  He calls.

Flop is J58. He checks. I bet 23.  After a little thought he mucks AK face up. He says, “I know you have Queens.”  I smile, muck, and say, Nope. 67.

I splash around the pot in the first 2 orbits.  Seat 7 doesn’t like how active I am and moves to seat 3 after I stack WPT guy (only $30) w/ my Kings.  20something plays a lot of hands from LP and has been showing one card when he takes a pot. You know, the typical I’ll show a red 4 on a 69Kccc board. Wow. Impressive jedi-mind games, champ.

I have 202 when this hand comes up. I am in the SB. 20something opens from MP to 11 (he has about 190 behind). Russian guy calls. I look at AKcc and consider reraising here, but there’s a possibility that 20something 4bets and then Russian shoves.  I don’t want to shove $202 preflop with AK when I probably only have 33% equity.  Given the situation, I just call.  Pot = 36.

Flop is rainbow QJT. I’m fairly sure 20something is c-betting here. I check. He bets 30. Russian guy snap calls.  I am sure this flop hits at least one of them if not both.  Given this, I might as well build the pot now. No sense in just calling and trying to extract more.  I raise to 110. After some thought, 20something says all in.  Russian guy folds and I call.

20something shows QQ and the board runs out QJT 4 6. Ship it.  I extract a few more chips and exit with 553. Booyah!

The MTT was uneventful. I had monster cards early. Could not extract as much value as I wanted, then got stacked when I turned top set and my customer rivered a gutter straight.  Profit after MTT $298.

Tuesday Night Lights 12/20/11

1/2NL. Table 1-6. $200 on.  Heavy in Seat 1. Lawrence Welk in seat 4 and has his typical $400+. Teddy KGB is in the 7 hole. Dead ringer in voice for KGB. “He trap me!” Jack in seat 8.  The details of last night escape me.  I know I played a big pot in position against Heavy. Heavy 3bet pre and I called from LP with 87ss. The flop was 874.  I was able to extract mucho chips on the turn. There was no river showdown.

I ended up cashing out for $411.

I drew Table 21-1 at the MTT. Was very active with position bluffs early. Up and down in stack size to about 9000.  Blinds were 100/200 when this hand occurred. Hyper-newb from UTG pooped to 600. Bob Marley (good, solid player) raises from MP to 1600. I call from LP with 76ss. UTG calls. Pot = $5100.

Flop is Ks3s7c  Action is checked to me.  I don’t think this flop hit UTG. Bob Marley’s check meant QQ, AQ perhaps. I think he’s betting AK here. I only have 7400 behind. No bet here is gonna take down this pot now. I check.

Turn is Ks3s7c 6c   UTG fires 3000.  Marley Hollywood’s and shoves all in. He has me covered by 100.  I have a mental fart and snap call as does UTG.

UTG has 77, Bob Marley has KK. I am busto.  I need to think better at the table. What a stupid way to play 76ss. #fancyplaysyndrome

Dirty Laundry

Val called me a liar. I struggle with the thought that I shouldn’t even dignify that accusation with a reply, but here it goes.

On Sunday, 11/13/11, Val starts his typical smack talk.  Typical.  I think it’s funny he tells me I need to stop running my mouth. Uh, I never initiate talk about the 49ers. My smack talk is always in response to his prodding. While I really don’t like arguing, I have a gift for it.  Let’s just say, if I want to tilt you, I can probably do it.

Before the San Francisco / Ney York game, Val reached out and wanted to put $ on the game. I say fine and we decide on the amount. The amount is not important. If you’re going to make a bet, pay it when you lose.

After the game, I tell Val to ship me my money. Here’s his reply on twitter:

As you can see, I tell him to ship me the $ on Carbon Poker. His reply, “Lol Never!!!!”  He wasn’t joking. He never paid.

Since he was a friend, I said to him, “Fine. We can go double or nothing on the Bears / Packers game on Christmas.”

Was this a serious bet? No. I was letting him back out to save face.

Two weeks later, the San Francisco / Baltimore game came up and somehow the subject of betting came up again. He suggested dinner at a Brazilian Steakhouse.  My bad. I should have called him out then and there for not paying, but I said sure.

No amount of $ was set, it was just dinner,  He claims I owe him $30 and I didn’t ship it. Sure. Pay your bets, Val. I’ll pay mine.

The whole reason for calling him out now is I have a low tolerance for bullshit.  I can talk shit, and I can take it, cause I dish it out.  But the constant barking about Chicago is exhausting.

The final straw was his repeated “your fag team” tweets.  It’s offensive and I don’t want to see that on my timeline.  I have family and friends that are gay. The word fag used in the context to demean someone or something is offensive to them and to me.

Okay. A response that took way too long. Longer than Val deserves. #truth

Asshats and Chips

1/2NL Short 40 minute session before dinner. I am in seat 11-7. Buy in for $200. As I sit down, I watch seat 11-3 asshat 60yo male cheese-bucket with earring continue to check/call seat 8 down every street. Asshat was OOP.  Board reads 2452Q.  Seat 8 shows QT. Asshat shows A5.  Robbie the dealer pushes QT the pot, and asshat starts yelling, “WHOA, I HAVE 2 PAIR, ACES AND FIVES!”  Robbie says, there’s no Ace on the board sir.  Asshat, without an ounce of embarrassment, says, Oh, I thought I had 2 pair.  #SMH

A few orbits later, I have QsTc in the BB and check my option. It’s me and asshat heads up.

The flop is Ts9s3s.  Asshat is holding/shuffling 5-6 red chips in his hand and I can’t see if he has any chips left on the table.  I wasn’t going to bet here unless he had a big stack to pay me off.  Also, I get paid off with a small stack here when the push and I just call.

I ask him how much he has? Dealer Glenn asks asshat to show me his chips. Asshat says, why does he want to know?  I say, it’s relevant to this hand and if you don’t know that then I should cancel my dinner plans so I can play against you all night.

He shows me $30. I say check. He says, if you’re going to check then why do you need to know how many chips I have?  I just sigh, and whisper to seat 6, “Man this guy is an asshole.”  He checks.

Turn is Ts9s3s Ad. I check. Asshat checks.

River is Ts9s3s Ad As.  I check. He throws in his $30.  I call. He has the Ks.  I say, well played, Sir. You are a hell of a player.

Seat nine and six tell me he’s a big asshole. Had this asshat had more behind, I would have stayed to stack him. But for $70, it wasn’t worth it.

Cashout: $128

The Six of Spades

1/2NL. Seat 1-4. Seat 6 was my nemesis, Lawrence Welk. Dude always has $400+ behind when I get to the room. He’s not a great player. The deck just hits him hard. I buy in for $200 and get involved with him in 2 separate hands with mid-connectors. As usual, the flop hits him hard and I have to jump ship.  After 25 minutes, I’m down $100.  Seat 5 is the Negreanu-wannabe asshat. You know, the guy who tells you what you and everyone has. Not ranges, but specific hands. But unlike Negreanu, he is never correct, let alone even close. I’ve played with him enough to know that he will limp-in in position and try to buy the pot.

I get involved with him when I raise pF to $10 with AJ. He flats from position and we’re heads up. Flop is junk. Check check. Turn is junk. Check check.  I am surprised. This board hits his range hard.  River is a K.  I check. He bets $35 with about $40 behind. I’m pained as it looks like a value bet. He just put half his stack in and I only have A high. But I know he has the balls to bluff here. After tanking, I raise all in.  He does not snap call. I know I have him beat know.  He tanks for 30 seconds and says, “You have pocket Kings, huh?”  He folds, and I say, “Nope, just AJ.” I didn’t show. He was pissed.

Somehow I stacked off to about $100 when our table broke and I moved to seat 11-1.  First hand I get J7o from the CO in a multi-limped pot. I raise to $15. Pauly from Jersey Shore in seat 5 calls. His uncle in seat 6 calls.  Uncle has about $700 behind. I overhear him say he has been playing since noon and got stuck for $1,000 and he’s almost back.  I flop top pair and proceed to spew the rest of my stack on the flop and the turn.  Pauly has AA, and Uncle had King high, a weak King. I was salivating at my chance to play with deep stack Uncle.

I reload to $200 and raise a hand preF with 99. I cbet on a straighty board and fishy no-fold guy in seat 9 is going nowhere despite my flop and turn bets.  The river reads:  3TK4 9  On the river, action is check to me.  So I bet $100.  Seat 7 folds and seat 9 says all-in. I know I’m beat but the pot is so big I call. Dude shows me the nuts. Reload #2.

All the while this is going on, Uncle is playing every pot. He’s back down to $300 and I’ve chipped up to $300 when I raise his straddle from the button with AKcc to $12. He raises to $24 and I call. Pot = $51.  Flop is QdTd5s.  He checks. I bet $35 and he calls. Pot = $121. Turn is QdTd5s Ks. He leads for $40. I raise to $130. He calls. Obv.  River is QdTd5s Ks 7h.  He checks.  I debate whether I am in the lead here.  If I bet, I’m only getting called by a better hand here. I check and he shows Q4. Ship it.

New asshat sits in seat 7, and fires a bet into a flushy spade board against me in position. I only have King high so I fold. He turns over a 6s. There is no six on the board.  I wait until the next hand is over, then I say, “What did you show me a 6 for? You think you outplayed me?”. He says, “Yeah, I showed you the six.” So I replied, “Congrats, playa. World class move there.”

A few hands later, against world class, I raise his EP limp with KJo from the button.  He calls. Pot = $13.  Flop is KQ3. He bets $15. I call.  Pot = $43. Turn is KQ3 J. He bets $40. I call. Pot = $123.  River is KQ3 J J. Gin! He checks. I bet $102. He snaps, sees my boat then starts whining. “Unbelievable!”, he says. I say runner runner is Karma for showing me that six of spades.  He reloaded, but I didn’t hear from him the rest of the session.

I had to reload twice for a total on of $600, but I cashed out for $860 before heading to the MTT.

Over at the MTT room, I drew 24-1. When I got there, Ron was in my seat. I told him to move or I’d call security. Ron is my good friend who bets the horses and probably makes a good living from it. I went heads-up with Ron in my first live MTT back in 2003 and beat him for first. We’ve become good friends, and I continually ask him for poker and horse advice. He moved to seat 2 and it was on to carve up this table.  Starting stacks here were 6K.

He built a nice stack in the first hour and was sitting on 30K. I was close behind.  I was able to grow my stack to about 12K when I turned the nut flush against 2 hyper-lags. One of them paid me off.  Later on, Dr. Mike limps for 300. I raise to 900 from the button with TsTh. The BB and Mike calls. Pot = $2,850.

Flop is 7c8sTc. I c-bet for $2,000. Both fish call. Pot =$8,850.

Turn is 7c8sTc Td.  I cbet again for $2,200. Both fish call again. Amazing!   Pot = $15,450.

River is 7c8sTc Td 9c. BB and Mike check. I shove for $2,000. BB calls for less and Mike calls.  BB has Jd8c Mike has KQcc  I drag a $20K+ pot with quad Tens and sustain myself deep into the tourney.

I took a nice pot off of Spet’s when I 3bet him from LP with AK. I flopped a A in a A73 flop and he check/folded.

I also 3bet Stevie from the button with T8o when he open 2bet from CO with A8. He folded and showed A8. I showed my hand and told him I thought he was BS. He was a lot stronger than I thought. He’s a good strong player. At least I know he can fold oop preF.

I stayed out of trouble and made it to the FT where the top 10 of 90 got paid.  I was determined to not blowup this table like I did last Saturday.  I proceed to fold pocket 6s in a raised pot preF and would have flopped bottom set to stack me up huge. So much for correct decisions.  The final table was standard. Open shove when you can with a decent hand and hope for the best.  Nothing exciting here. I stayed out of everyone’s way and let them knock each other out. NASCAR Ogre was to my right and he did not shut up the whole table. Dude had 9 lives. I think he busto’d in 6^th.  When we got down to 4, I looked down at AKcc and shipped it in for 55K. The blinds were 8000/16000/3000a. The CL with the horseshoe stuck up his ass looked me up with his TT and I was busto. I took $434 for 4^th place.

Still Gripping… (See previous post, Final Table Blowup)

Truth be told, at the time, I couldn’t care about the 3^rd-7^th pay scale. While it’s nice money, I wanted to ship this thing.  Here’s my thoughts on the AA/JJ/TT hand.

I have played extensively with Missy (AA) over the years. The blinds are 2000/4000/1000a. I have 215,000. She has 55,000.  She understands tourney play and I estimate her shove range to be any pairs, any Broadway, and any ace.  My TT has her range crushed 64:36 (PokerStove).

I have been at the same table with Dolce Gabanna glasses (JJ) for over 7 hours.  My reads on him are that he never 2bets preflop. He limps with a lot of pairs, and Broadway cards.  I’ve seen him limp with as bad as QTo OOP.  He has 120,000 behind and from MP just flats Missy’s UTG shove.  My thoughts are this assmonkey has to jam the pot with JJ+. He just flats.

In my egoistic thinking, I think my TT is in the lead here.  The question is by how much?  I am really hoping I am up against AT-AK from both players.  PokerStove TT 45% Missy’s Range 27.5% DG Glasses Range 27.5%

I didn’t snap shove with TT. I actually took my time to think this through.  I guess the problem with hand –ranging is that AA and JJ are also in their ranges and they happened to get those cards.

The very next hand, Russian Frankie opens from UTG to 17K leaving 90K behind.  The fact that I called him “Russian” Frankie tells you everything you need to know.  His range is top 50% of cards. Either I  3bet him to 51,000 or I shove.  Either way, I think Frankie is putting his chips in the middle this hand.  PokerStove shows AQo is a 2:1 favorite over his range. So I shove and he wakes up with AK.

Q1:  Do I really fold TT here?

Q2:  Am I analyzing my hands wrong here?  Do I really play against their ranges, or do I have to take into account other factors here?

Final Table Blowup

1/2NL Seat 1 I am splashing pots and down $200 to $110 in 5 hands.  I was messing around in a raised pot from the button with Jh7c. Flop was Jc3cJs. Action is checked to me. I bet $15 and get one caller, the small blind with the tennis racket card protector.  The turn is Jc3cJs Kc.  We check/check.  River is Jc3cJs Kc Tc.  Dude pushes in a chunk of chips but fumbles them. He says, “all-in” after they cross the line.  The dealer says he can only bet what crossed the line.  It hardly matters as he has about $85 across and that has me covered.  I am very confused.  When faced with an overbet on the river, I tend to think it’s a bluff bet.  This hand happened at 11:50am. The tournament started at noon. I asked him, “Are you playing the tournament?”  My thought was that if he says yes, he’s not bluffing because he wouldn’t want to lose all his chips right before the tourney.  He said, “no.”  For some reason, I went with my gut and called. Dude tables KK.  Damn, I’m an idiot. Cash out: -$200.$275 buy-in tourney + $10 add-on for 20,000 chips. Bounty’s were $50 each, and the levels lasted 30 minutes.  71 runners started, the top 8 get paid. First was $4,900. 8th paid $489.  This structure gave me a lot of opportunity to play early. I was in seat 25-8 for 6.5 hours.  As usual, I played most of my hands from position. I was card dead for the first 2 hours, and when I did get cards, I was outflopped a majority of the time. I was getting pisssed watching clueless idiots, like seat 3, (old guy with DG glasses) limp in pots, never raising, then overbetting rivers with a baby straight on flush and paired boards and still dragging pots. I also had to deal with seat 7, (Ben Rothlisberger) who played 75% of pots and when he did raise it was usually a min raise. He too would raise people on a straighty river with a pair of aces and get away with it. I was dying to get involved with these two, but it wasn’t happening.Somehow, I dipped to 11K early in the tourney. I was able to grind my way back to 20Kish and stay there for a while.  Seat 9 went busto, and in came Corky. Corky is a 50yo-ish bull, who only has one speed. He’s always raising, and he’s always barelling through a scary board.  Corky has never heard of small ball.  At the 300/600/50a level, I had about 22K and Corky had 9Kish.  I open from CO to 1,800 with AQo. He flats.  The flop is AKQr. I check knowing full well Corky will bet this flop.  The pot is 5,000. Corky shoves for 7,500. I snap call. He has KQ and my hand holds up.  I am up to 31K, and I drag my first of seven $50 bounties.

Shortly thereafter, I get involved in three all-in preflop races against short stacks.  I race JJ vs. AK twice and win.  I race TT vs AK and win. Then later, I snap off seat 4, (habitual bluffer guy) when I get in with KQ vs. his A9. He outflops me with a 9, but I have a straight draw that gets there on the river.

For the last hour before the FT, I am sitting on a stack of 60-80bbs.  I don’t have the full-throttle switch on yet, but if I can take out a potential bounty by only risking 10% of my stack. I am going for it.  I put three players to the task preflop.  Two all-ins hold up, one doesn’t.  I took out big stack cigar guy A9dd > KTdd all-in on a 2 diamond flop. Ace high held up.  I have 7 bounties at $350.00, so I am freerolling now.

I am able to stay out of trouble and make the FT.  Owen wants to pay 9 and 10, the 2 bubbles, something.  There are 10 players left, so $500 in bounties are left.  We agree that the 2 bubbles get $250 each. We play 3 minutes into the FT, then go on a 30 minute dinner break. Ron and I grab drink and strategize.  The average stack is 157,000 and I have 215,000. I am either 2nd or 3rd in chips at this FT.  I tell Ron I hope I can survive silly all-ins, especially when I’m in the blinds and priced-in.  Ron says, “At the FT, you’re never priced in.  You’re goal is to survive.  If you’re raised, you’re probably beat.” Those words would come to haunt me as I should have listened harder.

Back to action. 7 left.  Blinds are 2000/4000/1000a. Short stack Missy shoves UTG for 55K. Asshat DG glasses flats, leaving 65K behind.  I am on the button with TT. I figure Missy is shoving with any Ace or Broadway card.   I am hoping DG glasses has AJ-. If he has a pair or AQ+, he’s going to reraise, right?  BAD READ DONKEY – I’ve been sitting with this asshat for 7.5 hours. He never raises pre-flop.  Never. I should have folded my TT here. But I shove to isolate Missy.  It doesn’t work.  Missy has AA, DG glasses has JJ and I lose approximately 50% of my stack. I am down to 116,000.

Next hand, Russian Frankie opens to 17K.  He has 90K behind.  I tank on the button with AQo.  I think I can get him to fold with a shove and at worst race him if he calls. I shove, dude snaps with AK.  I lose the hand. I shove two hands later and am busto.

I am tortured by these 2 hands.  I don’t think I got impatient, but my reads were way off.  I was quite surprised about the quality of hands here. That said, I could have folded TT. I think I had a real shot at going deep, and blew this thing. Cash out: 7th place, $710 + $350 in bounties.